17
May
“I could call myself Mr. Clever”
(Source: agent-pond)
Esquire Theme by Matthew Buchanan
Social icons by Tim van Damme
17
May
“I could call myself Mr. Clever”
(Source: agent-pond)
(Source: expelliarmus)
This morning while I was getting ready I was watching Sesame Street.
They were doing this bit where some clown was trying to wash his hands but kept washing his feet or his elbows and Elmo would go, “no mister noodle, your HANDS!” and all the tv kids would laugh.
Around the fourth or fifth time he couldn’t find his hands, I heard a grown man yell from somewhere else in the motel, “GODDAMMIT, MR. NOODLE.”
LITERALLY MY FAVORITE STORY ON ALL OF TUMBLR.
(Source: handaxe)
[x]
(Source: dailyanimals)
the first smut i ever read was about a girl listening to these people having sex in a bathroom stall and when they were done she snuck in and it was like “she saw semen all over the floor and bent over to pick one up”
she picked up a sperm
just one
k,hadkjlasbgfkajsfgbaw HAHAHAHSKAJLHGBDAH
hana said “I reblogged something for you. It will lighten up your dash.”
lighten up your dash
Hana u punny little shit.
(Source: eyesonfire610)
15
May
im fucking cryiNG OH MY GOD???? THIS GUY FROM SHREK
IS CALLED LORD FARQUAAD RIGHT??? AND FARQUAAD SOUNDS A LOT LIKE FUCKWAD WHEN U SAY IT
LORD FUCKWAD
HOW DID THAT ONE SLIP PAST
SAY IT WITH AN ENGLISH ACCENT
WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY PREVIEW
I love today so much
I knew you’d come back to me someday. I never stopped believing in you.
Oh my god it’s back…
*SOBS UNCONTROLLABLY*
I AM SO EXCITED.
I don’t want to learn in a classroom anymore. I want to travel and talk to people and learn that way. I want to learn as I go, gathering knowledge and not being rigorously tested on it. I don’t want to lose passion in the things I like because of the worry of exams. I want to fuelled by snippets of knowledge I gain from people and be inquisitive. School has stolen my passion for the things I’m interested in and I hate it for that.
“In response to Abercrombie & Fitch CEO Mike Jeffries not wanting “not so cool” kids or women who wear size large to wear his company’s clothes, Greg Karber has come up with a funny and creative way to readjust the Abercrombie & Fitch brand.
He’s giving their clothes to the homeless.
After scouring his local thrift shop’s “douchebag section,” Karber heads to LA’s Skid Row to dole out the clothes among the homeless population. Watch the stunt and find out how you can be involved in one man’s troll-job on a company with some pretty unflattering business practices in the video above.”
Twitter: The Comic is a collection of comics based on the greatest tweets of our generation. The source material is used verbatim, typos and all. Despite the seemingly random nature of the tweets, the comic has reoccurring characters and story arcs that aren’t fully understood unless experienced through a single reading. With explicit permission from the writers of each comic, Twitter: The Comic could be a pretty rad book.
There once was a young boy with a very bad temper. The boy’s father wanted to teach him a lesson, so he gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper he must hammer a nail into their wooden fence.
On the first day of this lesson, the little boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. He was really mad!
Over the course of the next few weeks, the little boy began to control his temper, so the number of nails that were hammered into the fence dramatically decreased.
It wasn’t long before the little boy discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Then, the day finally came when the little boy didn’t lose his temper even once, and he became so proud of himself, he couldn’t wait to tell his father.
Pleased, his father suggested that he now pull out one nail for each day that he could hold his temper.
Several weeks went by and the day finally came when the young boy was able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
Very gently, the father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.
“You have done very well, my son,” he smiled, “but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same.”
The little boy listened carefully as his father continued to speak.
“When you say things in anger, they leave permanent scars just like these. And no matter how many times you say you’re sorry, the wounds will still be there.”